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Loving the Unlovable

2/14/2016

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by Misti Sanders
I thought this article “The Art of Loving Unlovable People: 12 Steps to Help You Deal with Difficult People” by Hillary McMullen was worth a read:
Life is full of people who rub us the wrong way. Whether it’s within our family, workplace, church, or community, we’ve all encountered at least one person who drives us absolutely crazy. Maybe they say sly insults, tell bad jokes, or invade our personal space. Whatever their annoying or hurtful habits are, our spirits are dampened and flustered by their presence in our lives.
As Christians, how do we cope with difficult people? Christ calls us to love selflessly and ceaselessly. So are we just supposed to force a smile and fake a laugh, while inside we’re cringing or crying or wanting to flee? How can we possibly be genuine with all these negative emotions broiling just beneath the surface?
We can’t do it on our own...The only true source of compassion, strength, and love is God. If we embrace and rely completely on God’s love and forgiveness for us, we can then draw from his infinite provision and begin to love others more fervently and sincerely.
I’ve found that there are 12 key steps we take to help us build greater compassion, empathy, and love for our neighbors—even the ones who have caused us pain, anger, or frustration. It is critical, though, to understand that these tools are best used in the hands of those who have deeply acknowledged their own sin and their need for Christ’s grace and direction in their lives.
1. Pray for the Holy Spirit’s intervention. If you know you’re about to enter into an interaction with a difficult person, appeal to the Holy Spirit for strength, compassion, and patience. Through him, you have the power to represent Christ—even in the most trying of circumstances. Our calling as Christians is difficult, but we don’t have to do it alone. Remember that your kindness could portray the gospel to someone who desperately needs it.
2. Consult God’s Word. Scripture is a treasure trove of practical advice about how to interact with people. Sometimes we may feel as though the Bible is distant and unrelated to today’s culture, but upon closer inspection, we can see that human nature hasn’t really changed. The wisdom that the Word provides is still relevant to our lives.

3. You don’t know their whole story. Knowing the hardships in someone’s life can give you an entirely new perspective and understanding of their personality. Dealing out judgment comes so easily to us, especially when we are leveling it at someone who makes our lives miserable. But if we remember that they, too, have felt the sting of injustice, the burden of anxiety, and the ache of emptiness, perhaps we won’t be so quick to feel anger and annoyance.
4. It’s always possible to establish common ground. It’s amazing how finding something in common with a person you take issue with can begin to bridge the chasm between you. It could be something as simple as a similar childhood experience, a shared hobby, or a book you both enjoyed. These tiny tendrils of connection may seem meaningless, but they could gradually improve your interactions.
These tiny tendrils of connection may seem meaningless, but they could gradually improve your interactions.
5. Silence is golden, so think before you speak. Sometimes our words stumble out of our mouths before we have a chance to censor them. It can be easy to lash out in anger or make condescending comments. But words, once they’re said, are irreversible and hold incredible weight. Pray for self-control and the wisdom to speak only what is encouraging, considerate, and kind.
6. Don’t take yourself too seriously. An important life skill is learning how to laugh at yourself. We can become so caught up in proving a point or keeping our pride intact that we start to forget that we are as human as everyone else. A humble attitude admits to faults and views others as equals instead of inferiors. Carrying out God’s work is what should be taken seriously.
7. Be open to criticism—there could be some truth in it. None of us enjoy being criticized, especially when we feel it is undeserved. But even if the criticism is riddled with untruth or mean-spiritedness, it’s possible that there could be a grain of truth in it. In order to grow, we must look inward with honest, objective eyes and prayerfully search our motives and actions for faults. Although the process may sting, we will emerge from it stronger and more self-aware.
8. Don’t conspire against them with others. There’s nothing more tempting than blowing off steam with a group of understanding friends after an encounter with an obnoxious coworker or acquaintance. We want their feedback and sympathy or maybe we just want to talk it out. This is natural and often helpful for our peace of mind. But we must be careful not to indulge in slander or malicious gossip. Venting should be about healing our wounds and being encouraged, not about dragging the offender’s name through the mud in order to feel superior to them.
9. Pray for discernment about whether to confront an issue or let it go. It’s difficult to know when we should call out an offense or drop it. We don’t want to seem upset or ruffled all the time, but we also don’t want to bottle up all our frustrations until they erupt. When should we lovingly confront the person about her wrongdoing? Unfortunately, there is usually never a perfectly clear answer to this question. The best thing to do is pray for guidance. If the offender’s actions are destroying the relationship or making interaction difficult, it may be time to communicate your feelings in a gentle, considerate manner.
10. Don’t go looking for trouble. There can be something oddly satisfying about keeping an account of our enemies’ sins. Maybe we sniff out offenses like a bloodhound, looking for more fuel to feed our dislike. By focusing on their dirt, we begin to feel better about our own. But this mentality leaves us bitter and allows no room for grace. Shed the attitude of hypersensitivity and instead adopt one of patience and forgiveness.
11. Remember, they are God’s precious creation. Just as you have been created in God’s image, so has your intrusive neighbor or your over-bearing boss. God knit them lovingly in the womb, numbered the hairs on their heads, and has guided their footsteps. When we extend love to them despite our differences, we are exhibiting the depth of our love for God.
12. Love because you are loved. Forgive because you have been forgiven. Ephesians 4:32 puts it best: “Be kind to each another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” When you feel the need to hold a grudge or keep your love from someone, remember the abundance of grace that is available to you through Jesus, despite your great sin. He is the reason we can each love deeply, joyfully, and freely.
Who are the people in your life who are the most difficult to interact with? Christ has taught us to not only outwardly treat them with kindness and respect, but to also view them through his eyes—with understanding and compassion. His example and transforming power in our lives will equip us to go out and love as he loved.
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Beginning of a Good Work

2/8/2016

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by Melody Paris

​Dietrich Bonhoeffer once stated that
“Our community with one another consists solely in what Christ has done to both of us. This is true not merely at the beginning…it remains so for all the future and to all eternity.” We here at CTK are a community of believers brought together by our shared love and interest in Jesus Christ. We gather together on Sundays in this building, we gather during the week at homes, and we gather together when and where the need or want arises because through Jesus we have bonds that He has made.

This week the new Ladies Study began and seventeen women of our community started a journey together to explore our faith, our relationships and our pilgrimage through life. At our first meeting, Lisa asked us to think about and share what stood out to us in this verse: “…being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6). Looking back now, what stands out to me are the words “began a good work.” When we made the decision and commitment to be a part of this group, God was beginning a good work in each of us and all of us collectively. This will be a journey together and one blessed by God. What He has done to each of us is to draw us closer and built up His church and our community.

I have always struggled with being a part of a community. I’ve been heavily active at CTK for more than three years and yet there are times I still keep my distance from community. I have often shied away from fellowship opportunities and chances to build stronger relationships. In joining this group, I’m a bit proud of myself for listening to God’s prompting for once and giving myself the chance to make more genuine connections. I want to see what “good work” He has planned for me and for the rest of the women of the group. In this case, I’m looking forward to the journey as much, if not more, than the destination.

It is important to remember that God has designed us to be part of His church, His community. We are not lone, but part of a whole. We have community with Him and others through Him. Bonhoeffer went on to say, “I have community with others and I shall continue to have it only through Jesus Christ. The more genuine and the deeper our community becomes, the more will everything else between us recede, the more clearly and purely will Jesus Christ and His work become the one and only thing that is vital between us. We have one another only through Christ, but through Christ we do have one another, wholly, for eternity.” I listened to God and now I have the chance to get to know more of His community. What is the right opportunity for you?
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Be God’s Servant

2/1/2016

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by Shon Sanders

​I wanted to share with you this passage from “Men of the Bible” by James Bell that focuses on Jonah:
​

Some men have an innate need to plan out everything ahead of time. They need to map out every moment of their workdays, their weekends, and even their vacations to the very last detail. Any deviation from their plans throws their world into chaos. The Bible recognizes the value of planning; it also includes blessings for those who learn a little flexibility as they follow and serve God. Jonah disliked God’s command to warn Nineveh of its coming destruction, and he became angry when God spared the city after the Ninevites heard Jonah’s preaching and repented. That wasn’t part of Jonah’s plan!
“Didn’t I say before I left home that you would do this, Lord?” Jonah complained. “That is why I ran away to Tarshish! I knew that you are a merciful and compassionate God, slow to anger and filled with unfailing love. You are eager to turn back from destroying people.”
 - Jonah 4:2
Jonah hated the Ninevites and really wanted God to kill them all, thereby snuffing out a very real threat to Jonah’s own people, the Isrealites. When God spared the city, He deviated from what Jonah saw as the perfect plan. In the end, God posed this question to His unhappy prophet: “Nineveh has more than 120,000 people living in spiritual darkness, not to mention all the animals.  Shouldn’t I feel sorry for such a great city?” (Jonah 4:11)
​
The question bears a clear message: Jonah was God’s servant, not His advisor. God had instructed Jonah to obey, preach, and leave the results up to the Lord of perfect knowledge, love, and compassion. Though you can choose to faithfully obey God, you don’t often get to choose what He’ll do with your acts of obedience.  You will be more happy and peaceful when you simply do what God tells you to do and leave the results to Him.
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Network Info
​A CTK NETWORK CHURCH
CTK.NET
Service Location
Nampa Christian High School
11920 West Flamingo Ave
​Nampa, ID 83651


​Service Time
 Sundays at 10am
​
​
Service Options
You can watch the service
Live on FB every Sunday at 10am
or 
watch past sermons on
​our YouTube Channel


Office Location
984 Corporate Lane, Ste 202
Nampa, ID 83651


Office Hours 
​
Monday 10am-4pm
Tuesday 10am-4pm
Wednesday 10am-4pm
Thursday 10am-4pm
​

Contact Us
208-565-6324
office@ctknampa.org

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